Botella de champán en el coño y extractor de leche
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champagne in wet pussy
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You can make one of those benches for quite cheaply if you can use a hacksaw and a tape measure, perhaps a woodsaw and cordless drill too. Look up "key clamps". They are often used for making handrails and guardrails on large scaffolding projects, handrails for steps and slopes into buildings. They are almost as easy as Lego to assemble and the pipe to connect them is as cheap as the other components.